A question for you....
To initiate my first blog post, I'd like to start by posing a question. Do you ever find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, or watching your favorite show, and seeing someone who appears to have what you perceive as an amazing life, say to yourself "wow! they are so lucky!" Or maybe, "Why can't I do that?" Or even, "Must be nice!" (Surely I can't be the only one.) And this leads me to my next question. "Why aren't you living that life?" Or, "Why can't you be so lucky?" I have been guilty of this many times. For a second, I forget all that I have. Though I'm healthy and happy, and blessed with an healthy and happy baby now (#4thtrimester), I found myself looking around for more. So to answer that question, I promptly came up with an excuse that went something like "I'm not ____ enough." Or, "I don't have enough ______." And inserted my perceived adjective or noun. Maybe smart, strong, rich, or time, money, vacation.
For me, that adjective was confidence, and that noun was experience. Most people, I think assume, may I am very confident in myself, and at times I am, but at other times, I lack confidence in myself, my abilities and my strengths. I don't see what others see. I overthink everything to the point where I do nothing. I've wanted to start a blog for over a year now, maybe even two, but putting myself and my words online for people to read and judge is terrifying to me. Instead, I sat behind my screen and I read other people's blogs. Blogs about those things for which I am passionate. Blogs about fitness and whether I should be doing supersets or compound sets (and do I really even need to do cardio?!). Blogs about struggling to sleep train Teddy so that I can at least make an afternoon run to Target without an overtired baby screaming in the backseat. Blogs about all the things you feel postpartum (cracked nipples, crippling anxiety, and chronic hemorrhoids). Blogs about an all you can eat cheese and chocolate bar high above the Singapore skyline or sleeping in a yurt under the Montana night stars (#BEXTINA). Blogs written so personally that it felt like you were sitting in Starbucks with your best friend discussing the latest episode of Real Housewives New York (hello Season 10!) or all things STown.
So, why can't I do that?! How hard can it be to do something terrifying? So that got me thinking....am I someone who has done anything terrifying?
As I thought back over my thirty (something) years, I realized I'm someone who jumped out of an airplane at 13,000 feet up. Terrifying. I'm someone who left my financially secure job overnight to work as a personal assistant to a Saudi Princess. Pretty terrifying (and a little crazy). I'm someone who joined the Foreign Service and moved overseas, away from family and friends, to a city that I couldn't pinpoint on a map in a country that spoke a language I didn't understand. Really terrifying. I'm someone who, following two years in Romania, requested to serve a year in Kabul, Afghanistan. Extremely terrifying. I'm someone who grew a healthy human being inside my body, and then pushed it out into the world. By far the most terrifying. I'm someone who shed the 45 pounds gained throughout pregnancy even though I was defeated physically and mentally. I'm someone who decided to do all these terrifying things and I can't write a blog because I'm scared someone will judge me?
So, yea, I guess I can write a blog! And I hope you enjoy as I embark on this online odyssey because I'm also someone who is passionate about fitness, motherhood, travel, and all things current and trending, and that's what you will find in my blog. As a new mom, I'm also going to be writing about my amazing son Teddy and our family. With a career that involved globetrotting, I'll also blog about travel and hope you enjoy the journey!
In conclusion, thank you from the bottom of my heart for even taking the time to come here and read this post. Also, thank you for being in my life--because I know my aunts will be the first ones here to read this. :) I'd love to hear your thoughts and input and you can email me here or comment below.