Wow. I don’t even know where to start. I have been so overwhelmed since Tennessee that now, almost one month later, I’m just sitting down to catch up. To tell you the truth, I left for Tennessee super motivated, excited, and with tons of ideas, and I got back and was just exhausted. To top it off, Ned went straight out of town when I landed, and I was single-moming it (#howdotheydoit) with Teddy for that week. When he returned, I just felt like I was falling more behind and more behind with my part-time job, and even more behind getting to my own blog. In typical Lauren fashion, I got really down on myself and self-doubt creeped in. I wondered again why I ever decided to do this blog in the first place? Why did I ever think that I had anything to say worth reading and why did I think anyone would care what I had to say? I started looking at other, more complete and composed blogs, with riveting content and stunning photos, and comparing myself to them and thinking that I had absolutely no business doing this. I felt like I was on this energetic and positive wave-length and then it just went flat. I wondered where that girl had gone and who was she?!
But in all honesty, I’m not writing this blog to compete with anyone. I’m not writing this blog to be anyone I’m not. And that’s why I chose to share this particular post. Because I’m trying to keep it real. I’m tired. Teddy is almost walking and he wears me out! I’m off my gym routine because Teddy is off his nap routine from his bout of Hand Foot and Mouth disease (ugh), and I’m trying to get that solid before putting myself first. My old State colleagues are arriving to or receiving their new assignments in Tel Aviv, Vienna and Brussels, and it’s hard to realize that I’m, by choice, no longer among them—sitting in my apartment in Old Town keeping Teddy from sticking his hands in the toilet water. It’s hard working along side someone so amazing like Candace and seeing her be a BOSS, running a yoga teacher training, practicing Olympic-style lifts, snapping captivating photos, acting as mentor and instructor to her YTT students, and always planning the next big thing while I struggle to come up with one post!
So yea, I was tired, uninspired, unmotivated, and exhausted, and that’s life. And I’m working hard on shutting down that negative self-talk and now I’m starting to feel like myself again, so stay tuned. Next up, recapping my TN experience, Teddy’s first birthday and the healthy smash cake, and another big announcement coming soon!